5 steps to Wellbeing (or how I try to fit it in my busy life!)

Every day life seems to get busier & busier for me; especially with all my voluntary commitments. On top of that I also have a family to look after so how do I manage to look after my Wellbeing. As a therapist I realise that in order to care for others I must first of all care for myself.

I have just heard on the radio that recent research has shown that people who have a wide circle of connections are happier and more content than those who have fewer connections.

There is so much advice and information from the Government and health authorities to be fit, in body & mind, that it can be bewildering to know where to start. Well, this is how I try to fit in the advice given:-

• Be connected– connect with everyone around you. This can include family, friends, colleagues and neighbours. Spend time developing these relationships e.g. by a quick chat on the doorstep to having a long leisurely drink with a friend. Don’t forget that some strangers are just friends you haven’t made yet! I make a point of setting time aside for family/friends and try to make sure that I don’t let relationships drift. I go as far as arranging mutual times to call my adult children who live away from home. I also try to set slots aside in my diary to see friends or else things can easily drift. I make it a priority to stay in touch with my family and friends.

• Be active –This doesn’t have to be in a gym or cost any money. Just by taking a walk to the local shops/park can help your mental wellbeing without much effort. It is best to find an activity that you thoroughly enjoy and you can easily fit into your life. I try to walk whenever I can as the fresh air often helps me to clear my mind. A longish walks also makes sure that I am tired enough to have a good night’s sleep. Don’t let the wet & windy weather in the UK at the moment put you off as we’re ‘waterproof’ & there’s no such thing as bad weather - just bad clothing! So warm up & enjoy the day; below is me enjoying bird watching on a chilly day on the Norfolk coast.

• Be learning – learning any new skills can give you a sense of achievement. It can also build confidence and maybe a new set of friends or at least you will be in company of people who have similar interests. I joined a computer class run by the local Adult Education Service last year and more recently I have also joined a new photography group. Now I must get myself a SLR camera! These groups have opened up new learning areas for me and some have definitely challenged me! Any activity that involves mental activity is also good at keeping dementia at bay so keep those grey cells active.

• Be giving – The smallest random acts of kindness such as a smile, or taking note of someone’s outfit, a ‘thank you’ or a kind word can be so beneficial to your wellbeing. You may also like to think about volunteering with an organisation that you identify with. This will also help your mental wellbeing and help you build new friends and connections. I find my voluntary work with the Red Cross and other charitable organisations very rewarding and fulfilling.

• Be ‘Mindful’ – this is not mumbo jumbo or hippy dippy! It just means being more aware and appreciative of the present moment. These moments of calm away from your routine can help you to view any challenges more positively. I’m a ‘graduate’ of Mindfulness and find it a useful exercise to do before I see a client or have difficulties going to sleep – it works every time for me! Mindfulness also means being kind and compassionate to yourself and those around you. Many health authorities in the UK offer this training free so there is no excuse!

Wishing you all a happy, healthy & joyous New Year, may 2016 be a good one for you.

Pain in the butt? What to do about it.

Pain in the butt? What to do about it.

The statistics for back pain are staggering. Back pain is very common and according to a survey published recently almost half the adult population of the UK report low back pain lasting for at least 24 hours at some time in the year. It is estimated that four out of every five adults will experience back pain at some stage in their life. The cost to the local economy and to one's health is enormous. Recently nearly 5 million working days were lost as a result of back pain. This means that on any one day 1% of the working population are on sickness leave due to a back problem. Back pain is the number 2 reason for long-term sickness in much of the UK.

If you had persistent back pain it used to be suggested that bed rest was the only solution and people used to be confined to their beds for months on end. As medical knowledge has improved, this is no longer the case. It is just as well that this advice is no longer followed as it leads to muscle wastage and can affect one's mental wellbeing. Recent researches in numerous countries have shown that the best way to manage back pain is through activity which help to strengthen the core muscles. These muscles are crucial in supporting our frames and any strengthening of muscles will also help to support the areas affected. Activities needed to strengthen muscles are varied and can include everything from gentle walking to vigorous swimming. Also, gentle exercise routines Such as Pilates or Yoga are worth investigating.

As a back pain sufferer I know just how pain can affect one's whole wellbeing. Life can become a struggle and the pain seems to be ever-present and dominating one's life. I remember when I first had my first attack of bad sciatica and things were desperate for me. Pain definitely has a way of saying “don't ignore me”! I tried out the usual physio and walking. It wasn't until I had some sessions of acupuncture that things began to improve. I also has regular massage sessions with a therapist who went on to become my massage tutor! I noticed the massage sessions helped me to unwind and forget my pain for duration of the treatment. The good news was that these 'feel-good effects' carried on for some time afterwards and I was able to 'bank' them. I decided to combine the treatments with gentle walking by joining a health group ran by the local Council and also a local walking group run by the local church. I made a point of noticing everything around me and tried to be calm.

I also joined a swimming group as I knew that I wouldn't turn up to swim on my own! These combined activities helped me to feel better about myself physically.

In addition to my own self-help activities I also had traction, heat treatments and prescribed exercises from the physiotherapist. I'm pleased to say that I still carry on with some of these regimes to maintain my wellbeing and strengthen my core muscles. I think that once you have had back pain then its best to keep on top of it by looking after it and pampering it. Pain isn't fun!

As well as physically looking after myself I also made sure that my mental wellbeing was taken care of. I did this by surrounding myself with supportive friends and family and making sure that I had social activities planned most days. This could be anything from meeting up for a natter and coffee (not forgetting the cake!) to going for a special outing to the beach or an exhibition. I found that having company helped me and having planned distractions outside the house greatly helped me too. These activities do not have to involve any cost – just forward planning!

I also found that “rewarding” myself & “self-talk” tactics were very useful. By rewards I mean little treats like: “I'll have a drink/biscuit after I've done this set of exercise”. Or saying to myself: “I will feel better and I will get better”. When I said that to myself I made sure that I put the emphasis on “will”. Thinking in the positive was cathartic and I am sure it helped towards my recovery.

However, it wasn't all plain sailing for me. There were days when the pain was so bad that I felt like just crawling under the duvet and staying there. Fortunately for me lying down was one of the worst positions for me.

Don't give up hope if you are in constant pain. Make sure that you are getting all the help that the National Health can provide for you and also make sure that your condition has been thoroughly investigated. Don't leave any stones unturned. I know this is easier said than done. When you are in pain it can take your self-confidence away and your ability to concentrate and communicate effectively may well be gone. If this does happen to you then make sure that you've got a family member/friend to support you. If you don't want to share this with family/friends then there are also many charities that may be able to support and act as your advocate. MIND is one of the most active charities in supporting people's mental wellbeing. You may also find that joining a support / interest group may well help you.

As a massage therapist I often get clients with back pain and I know from what they say just how badly it can affect them. Not only does their health suffer but their work, their finances and their personal life can suffer too. Please don't suffer in silence as there's help available.

If you approach your pain with a positive mind combined with some physical manipulation such as massage/yoga then you may be able to bring it under control or at least get some relief. Good luck.

Women's Health Forum

One for the ladies! I'm so delighted to say that I've been invited to do an interactive talk & offer mini treatments at this event focusing on women's health this coming Sunday. 

Please come along & support. Venue in central Norwich, NR2 1SF, opposite the delightful Chapelfield Park.

Self-care for carers

'Self-care for carers' 

I've been thinking for some times what an amazing job carers do; some chose to do out of love, some out of friendship & some find themselves doing it by accident. I'm sure that there are very few people who would choose to do this almost 24 hour job without any timed breaks. This was brought home to me recently when I was talking to a carer at an interactive session I did on 'Stress Management & Relaxation'. He mentioned that he's the full time carer for his wife & he had to leave his job to do this. He says the most exhausting thing about looking after her is he never knows when he'll have his own time & finds it difficult to plan anything as his wife can be taken ill at any time. I've been thinking about the strain this must put on his health & wellbeing as well as the restrictions it must place on his social life.

To this end I've put these 5 self-help suggestions together to help those doing this very valuable job of caring:-

1. It is crucial for the sake of those you care for & also for yourself to take time out. This doesn't have to be for a long time, just a few minutes on your own EVERY DAY would be beneficial. During this time it'd be helpful if you had your eyes closed and listened to yourself breathing. Concentrate on the breathing & when you mind drifts away from your breathing then gently come back to this. Try & do this for at least 5 minutes.

2. When you are able to, listen to the music you used to like. Music helps to bring back memories & relaxes the mind. The person you are caring for may well like this activity too.

3. Don't forget to keep up with your social contacts. This may be difficult to do time wise but it doesn't have to be for long lengthy periods. Just dropping someone a note, which only takes a few minutes whether on-line or hand written, would be wonderful for the person receiving and also for you. You may think your friend/relative doesn't want to hear from you but the person may also be thinking that you're too busy to keep in touch. So go on & make the first move & see what happens.

4. Try not to snatch meals; if possible make an occasion of it by eating slowly & enjoying your food. Your digestive system would be grateful to you!

5. After having a shower/bath spend a little while spreading cream all over your body to refresh & calm yourself. A simple & gentle sweeping actions with your hands would help to relax the nerves. It is best to use a sensitive body lotion.

Hope these suggestions help. If you would like to add some more then please do & I'll post them too. Many thanks.