5 steps to Wellbeing (or how I try to fit it in my busy life!)

Every day life seems to get busier & busier for me; especially with all my voluntary commitments. On top of that I also have a family to look after so how do I manage to look after my Wellbeing. As a therapist I realise that in order to care for others I must first of all care for myself.

I have just heard on the radio that recent research has shown that people who have a wide circle of connections are happier and more content than those who have fewer connections.

There is so much advice and information from the Government and health authorities to be fit, in body & mind, that it can be bewildering to know where to start. Well, this is how I try to fit in the advice given:-

• Be connected– connect with everyone around you. This can include family, friends, colleagues and neighbours. Spend time developing these relationships e.g. by a quick chat on the doorstep to having a long leisurely drink with a friend. Don’t forget that some strangers are just friends you haven’t made yet! I make a point of setting time aside for family/friends and try to make sure that I don’t let relationships drift. I go as far as arranging mutual times to call my adult children who live away from home. I also try to set slots aside in my diary to see friends or else things can easily drift. I make it a priority to stay in touch with my family and friends.

• Be active –This doesn’t have to be in a gym or cost any money. Just by taking a walk to the local shops/park can help your mental wellbeing without much effort. It is best to find an activity that you thoroughly enjoy and you can easily fit into your life. I try to walk whenever I can as the fresh air often helps me to clear my mind. A longish walks also makes sure that I am tired enough to have a good night’s sleep. Don’t let the wet & windy weather in the UK at the moment put you off as we’re ‘waterproof’ & there’s no such thing as bad weather - just bad clothing! So warm up & enjoy the day; below is me enjoying bird watching on a chilly day on the Norfolk coast.

• Be learning – learning any new skills can give you a sense of achievement. It can also build confidence and maybe a new set of friends or at least you will be in company of people who have similar interests. I joined a computer class run by the local Adult Education Service last year and more recently I have also joined a new photography group. Now I must get myself a SLR camera! These groups have opened up new learning areas for me and some have definitely challenged me! Any activity that involves mental activity is also good at keeping dementia at bay so keep those grey cells active.

• Be giving – The smallest random acts of kindness such as a smile, or taking note of someone’s outfit, a ‘thank you’ or a kind word can be so beneficial to your wellbeing. You may also like to think about volunteering with an organisation that you identify with. This will also help your mental wellbeing and help you build new friends and connections. I find my voluntary work with the Red Cross and other charitable organisations very rewarding and fulfilling.

• Be ‘Mindful’ – this is not mumbo jumbo or hippy dippy! It just means being more aware and appreciative of the present moment. These moments of calm away from your routine can help you to view any challenges more positively. I’m a ‘graduate’ of Mindfulness and find it a useful exercise to do before I see a client or have difficulties going to sleep – it works every time for me! Mindfulness also means being kind and compassionate to yourself and those around you. Many health authorities in the UK offer this training free so there is no excuse!

Wishing you all a happy, healthy & joyous New Year, may 2016 be a good one for you.

To sleep or not sleep, that is the question

To sleep or not to sleep, that is the question.

Do you suffer from this? Are you tossing & turning in bed all hours of the night? Does it take you ages to drop off? Do you wake-up early hours? Over the years I've had some of these problems. They were acute when I was busy at home with a young family & trying to juggle a job & all my other commitments. I found out over the years that the key to feeling refreshed and relaxed is to have a regular pattern of sleep, rather than worry about the number of hours of sleep you get. Forget the old urban myth that everyone needs 8 hours of sleep! Everyone is different & the hours that you need may well be different from the hours that someone else needs. If you go to bed before you're really tired, and then sleep badly, you'll tend to stay in bed later in the morning, which will affect the next night's sleep, and so on. The 'knock-on' effects can be devastating & will affect your lifestyle & health. The following steps can help you establish a good sleep pattern & routine:-

Establishing a routine

• ONLY Go to bed only when you feel tired enough to sleep. If you always take a long time to get to sleep, delay going to bed until the time when you normally fall asleep, and get up at your usual time. This should mean you spend less time in bed, but more of it asleep, and your sleep pattern should improve but it may be gradual so don't get anxious if you don't get immediate results.

• Set the alarm at the same time each morning. Don't sleep in late to make-up for a bad night. This will only make it harder to sleep the following night. You may need to follow this programme for several weeks, to establish a regular pattern. Also, wake up as soon as you hear the alarm and don't be tempted to stay asleep; however lightly. 

• Don't watch television or use your computer in bed. These are what the brain considers waking activities. Restrict them strictly to your waking hours. Be firm with yourself and don't be tempted to just check that last minute email/Facebook update. Your 'status updates' can wait; your family & friends can wait for those crucial pictures/comments from you until the morning.  Be less nosey! Make a list if you have to and do it the next day. You may like to keep a notepad by the bed. I found this particularly helpful when I was teaching or doing an event or organising an article such as this one! If anything cropped up before I fell asleep then I just wrote it down for 'tomorrow' and not 'today'. I also told myself that I was in bed & couldn't do anything about it there & then. It just had to wait...  Be firm with yourself & soon this habit can be a lifesaver.

• If you don't fall asleep within 20 minutes, get up and go to relax & unwind in another room. If you don't have any other rooms to do this you then the corridor on a comfortable chair will do. Make this space as far away from the bed/bedroom as possible. Do something soothing, such as reading an amusing story, listening to music, self-massage or relaxation stretches until you're tired enough to go back to bed. Repeat this process, if you are awake for long periods.

• Avoid taking a nap during the day. But if you are really overtired, taking a short nap after lunch can be beneficial; sometimes sleep promotes sleep. Try to make the naps short ones; 30 minutes maximum. Set the alarm before your nap & wake up when the alarm goes off & don't stay in bed for another 10 minutes.

• Complementary therapies such as massage   or   Bowen  may be useful to help you to sleep. Many clients have reported that they have slept well after such treatments. Rosemary Barber, from Broadland Bowen, is an experienced Bowen practitioner. According to her Bowen's great to help you get to sleep: “People usually sleep well after treatment”.  Rosemary is a considerate person & passionate about her therapy.

Whatever you do, good luck & sleep well.